mood rings
by xfucktheglasses
Summary: Mend the hearts of all my wrecked up friends. —SuiKa.


Another old work. I'm actually not writing, as of late. I blame writer's block. :l

**mood rings**

It's eleven at night and Suigetsu stood in the middle of his messy room, staring at the neon red numbers glaring at him.

His house was quiet – empty – nostalgic – tragic – a place where Suigetsu hated to be. He couldn't last much in this house; not without going just a bit crazier.

Winter made this place more insufferable. He was almost positive he could hear that wondrous wind chime laugh; that breathy chide; that lighthearted joke; that warming look in those pretty-pretty-pretty eyes. Suigetsu couldn't stand being in there, alone, listening to a ghost chat and laugh and warm him up –

Ghosts don't exist.

He was alone and he couldn't stand it.

.

.

.

.

He already lost interest in trying to figure out how he found his way to his car.

Suigetsu just goes along with it.

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.

Double parking in front of her house, was something Suigetsu already lost interest in wondering why, as well.

It's just common sense, he supposed. In this place, she's the only thing he has left. He'll never admit that, out loud or to anyone other than himself. But, something told Suigetsu that she knew. Someway, or another.

He leaned down to watch from the passenger's window; his amethyst eyes, almost instantly, found her room. Her lights were on, he could tell even with the curtains obscuring everything. And from what he could see on the driveway, her dad was home for the weekend.

He stayed double parked in front of her house for another minute and he was not surprised when her curtains were moved aside, her window was opened and her figure quietly jumped out. Suigetsu's staring at streets ahead of him as she opened the passenger's door, sliding inside.

No one said anything.

And yet so much was told.

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.

.

.

"My dad's back."

"I saw."

"He was kind of drunk tonight…"

"Did he do anything to you?"

"…No…"

"Karin."

"I mean it."

"Whatever."

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There's been a dead-choking silence for the past twenty minutes and it's not even close to midnight, yet.

But this kind of silence, Suigetsu could deal with. This kind of silence held no mock and it actually allowed him to breathe; quite a contradiction, he remarked to himself rather snarkily. It was choking him – but while choking him it was allowing him to breathe.

He smirked wryly at himself and clenched his grip on the steering wheel.

He took a deep breath and almost wished he had stolen Sasuke's pack of cigarettes – almost. Just like he almost wished he had alcohol to drink.

Surprisingly, or not, they always made him relax.

Karin would always say he was addicted – he kind of believed her. Suigetsu was the kind to get addicted.

He listened as Karin shifted around in her seat until she was curled up into a ball; she was small enough to fit her whole body on the seat, and still have some room. He swallowed and tried to concentrate on the road. But it wasn't like they had a destination – they never did.

"Sui…"

He grunted.

"Sui…"

"Not now, Karin."

He felt her move again and he clenched his jaw.

"Then when?"

He didn't answer.

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Kiba once told him he's just not over his mother's death. Suigetsu sort of agreed – but not with the facts that his best friend gave him.

Suigetsu wasn't filled with sorrow; he didn't cry – not since the day it happened. He doesn't feel like the stream was taking him away, the harsh current leaving no room to escape. He didn't feel like dying – though that one did sometimes, rarely, weasel its way into his barrier.

But Suigetsu knew he wasn't over his mother's death because he always felt nauseous. He always felt like he was going to puke his intestines out – puke blood until he was dry. It's not because he was overcome with grief and sadness – there was too much green to feel blue.

Like right now.

Suigetsu almost choked – hid it behind a cough. But he was choking and the need to roll his eyes back was tempting.

Karin's warm hand found his and she gave it a tight squeeze.

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It's around two in the morning and Suigetsu's car is double parked on top of a hill.

It's quiet inside, still, but even though it bugged him, he tried to hide it with his lazy slouch. It's raining – the wind's strong and it whistled back and forth, causing the raindrops to splat-splat-splat on the windows and the roof almost violently. He could smell the wet grass, even with the windows rolled up. But with every inhale he took, he also smelt citrus and expensive perfume and it kind of drove him wild.

He exhaled out his mouth, shoulders rising before falling violently. He'd play music, but none of the radio stations were playing anything good.

"Suigetsu," Karin finally said, shifting around to face him. Her glasses mirror the moon lazing around behind him. "The quiet scares me coz it speaks the truth… Please, talk to me – say anything…"

He smirked dryly. "I feel like shit."

Her fingers grazed his face for a second and Suigetsu stiffened. "You _look _like shit."

"Yeah," he said gruffly.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?"

Suigetsu ran a hand through his silver-white hair and puffed his cheeks with air before letting it out. "You know the answer to that, Karin."

"Sui," she licked her lips and Suigetsu watched the tongue attentively. "I don't think she would have wanted you to kill yourself slowly… like this…"

He didn't have the energy to reply.

"I'm still here…"

"I know, Karin."

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It's around four in the morning and Suigetsu's driving, again.

The rain's still falling and the wind's still blowing harshly; Suigetsu had a bittersweet relationship with the winter. Sometimes, he wished it was winter always – winter held gusts of angry winds blowing to and fro, making him cold; making him shiver as it ran up and down his body. It was like his mother's embrace.

Karin's hand found his, again.

"Everything's dying," she murmured. Her eyes were staring out the window, at the leafless trees and the empty streets. Slowly she turned to look at him, crimson hair falling in front of burgundy eyes. "I hate winter."

With a wry smile, this time, Suigetsu gave her hand a squeeze.


End file.
